What Makes a man?

Good boy, Bad boy , Dude Bro, Dweeb

Lots of other descriptions of human males exist but the one we all strive for, the one we want to be called.. is a Man.
So what's the difference? What separates a true Man from any kind of boy? What keeps Bros, dweebs, hard core guys, and the endless list if Man-child titles from being Men?

There are many answers but I will refine it to Three
I learned these from being first an uncertain geek, and then a shiftless thug eventually a true bad boy and finally growing up and being a man.

Confidence. Not the frat boy "I'm gonna get some" BS but real confidence. The knowledge that you really are good at what you do.. not just having a degree or certification but proof that you can do what you do well It is a quintessential growth moment. Being able to feel like that without showing others or using it to make others feel bad.. now that. is real confidence. both Men and women, in work and Romance find this quality attractive as nectar to bees.

Creativity. We have to build not with timber and nails or stone. Any one can tear down but it takes skill and patience to build. Building oneself and others. A Man doesn't need to be in the sunshine casting shadow. He will improve himself by helping others along the way. It is truly said the greatest way to teach is to learn and the greatest way to learn is to teach.

A moral code.

This one is one of the hardest. It is the hardest because it is the one most often tested. It seems simple, crime and law, wrong and right. It takes many wrong decisions and being beaten down into the dirt, only to pick our selves up again and move on .. again and again... Some times being brought low for just cause some times not. It is picking ourselves up and refusing to be the least common denominator that makes us truly learn our own thoughts of right and wrong.

These things make a Man. Confident, Creative, Moral.

walk a mile?

Would I ask you to walk a mile in my shoes?

No.

My shoes fit me as I have worn them for many many miles. The countless days, and nights of living my life have formed my feet and they in turn have shaped my shoes.

No matter how similar our lives might be or how close the size of our shoes, you would always find mine uncomfortable and learn nothing from that mile except that your own shoes fit better. Even more so; the more different we are in occupation, background, lifestyle, etc.

I never ask some one to walk a mile in my shoes. However if you care to walk beside me for a mile, I will walk beside you as well.

We both might learn something.

Gods plan?

Many of us often talk of "God's Plan" and "God's will" We also speak of God as good and willing to answer prayer. Then we are ask why does God allow bad things to happen to good people.

If we accept that God is, and that God has plans and a will toward specific ends. We must also accept our will and plans do not always meet with those of deity. We must also realize that not all of our actions and plans have any effect on those of deity.

We have as a treasured gift from our creator the power of choice, and not just common choice of does this taste better than that. We are given the choice to act against our nature, against instinct, rules and training; to change the most profound ideas we have. We have the choice to walk away from the creator and his intent. Ultimately we chose even to believe or not to believe and both should be respected.

God did not just give this choice to those who pray, nor just to those who follow a particular faith. I believe the creator bestowed this on all mankind. Some will use this gift to care for their fellow man. Some will choose to follow a leader in a path, while others choose to wander.

Some will choose to do ill, to kill, to injure, to do harm for their own gain. I don't believe God likes the wrong doings, I don't believe that the creator wants bad things to happen to good people. I believe Gods gift of choice to us might just be the hardest thing any creator could ever do for their creation.

what we did

In day's gone by we supported one another because we chose to. Weather by helping at a church or being members of mutual support organizations or fraternal organizations. We gave support when we could and ask for help when we couldn't. Pride is not so great a pain when asking a "brother" or a "sister". But that was a question of can you help me while I get back up from the dust.

Now our society seems lean more towards what can the state do for me to help me to provide for me? Picking ourselves up is hard, even harder when a person has to take a pay cut to leave public assistance.

Our nation was once a nation founded on faith. Not just faith in "God" but faith in one another. Faith in the idea of a truly "new world"

Granted our fathers and mothers missed the boat on more than one occasion. Slavery, Indian confinement, the Interment camps for Asians in WWII and even the current social persecution between one religion and on the other (or lack thereof)

We should certainly learn from these mistakes. and then move past them. We can help one another. We don't need the gov't to do it for us. we can just help one another.

Rainbow Veterans Day program 2012

I was honored to be asked to present a program to Arlington Rainbow Assembly # 96 for Veterans Day in 2012, this is the text of the program I gave.

Before I begin I place this Flag here at rest. This Flag has seen good service. It has been flown with pride, It has weathered storms and drought, it has stood the lonely watch at night, it has been lowered to half mast in honor of Fallen hero’s and in mourning for lives that were too soon lost. It has served our country, as have many thousands like it. Like thousands who have come before it. And now I lay it here at rest.

This particular flag has been in my charge and keeping since first it was raised upon the staff. I would not then leave it unguarded now.

Sister Patriotism. (She comes forward) To your station belong lessons of national pride, of service to country, and of sacrifice in the name of Freedom. Will you stand this watch? (Answers and takes position)

Sister Hope. (Comes forward) Hope is the belief that tomorrow will be better than today. Hope is that which keeps each of us upon our feet when we know that we should fall down in anguish and defeat; it is a bastion of untold strength and it is the beginning of the end of doubt. Will you stand this watch? (Answers and takes position)

Sister Faith: (comes forward) Faith is our light and guide. It is what allows us to see truth in our darkest hour; it is the fire that keeps us warm even in the coldest deepest night of despair. Will you stand this watch?  (Answers and takes position)

Very well I charge you then to guard this flag until those shall appear before us who are appointed to receive it and retire it with due and ancient respect and honor. You may be seated.

Brothers and Sisters, honored guest, and most especially members of Arlington Rainbow Assembly. It is my honor tonight to present this Veterans Day program.

I have the Privilege of being a Veteran, who is the child, nephew, grandchild, brother,  and even great-grandchild of Veterans. I am honored to say that one day I will be the Father of a Veteran as my Son now serves in the US Navy.

It is easy to understand why this day is so important to me, but I am here today to help this assembly show honor and respect to those who have served.

(Ask all veterans to raise their hands)
(Ask family of veterans to raise their hands)

(Ask friends of veterans to raise their hands.)

It has been said that a veteran is someone who has written a blank check to their country for anything and everything up to and including the cost of their life. This is true of any soldier. However I tell you now there is more to every Veteran.

I would like to share a piece written by a man that though he was not a Mason he was accorded the privilege of being an honorary Shiner. Mr. Johnny Cash

The Ragged Old Flag
by Johnny Cash

I walked through a county courthouse square
On a park bench, an old man was sittin' there.
I said, "Your old court house is kinda run down,
He said, "Naw, it'll do for our little town".
I said, "Your old flag pole is leaned a little bit,
And that's a ragged old flag you got hangin' on it".
He said, "Have a seat", and I sat down,
"Is this the first time you've been to our little town"
I said, "I think it is"
He said "I don't like to brag, but we're kinda proud of
That Ragged Old Flag

"You see, we got a little hole in that flag there,
When Washington took it across the Delaware.
and It got powder burned the night Francis Scott Key sat watching it,
writing "Say Can You See"
It got a rip in New Orleans, with Packingham & Jackson
tugging at its seams.
and It almost fell at the Alamo
beside the Texas flag,
But she waved on though.
She got cut with a sword at Chancellorsville,
And she got cut again at Shiloh Hill.
There was Robert E. Lee and Beauregard and Bragg,
And the south wind blew hard on
That Ragged Old Flag

"On Flanders Field in World War I,
She got a big hole from a Bertha Gun,
She turned blood red in World War II
She hung limp, and low, a time or two,
She was in Korea, Vietnam, She went where she was sent
by her Uncle Sam.
She waved from our ships upon the briny foam
and now they've about quit wavin' back here at home
in her own good land here She's been abused,
She's been burned, dishonored, denied an' refused,
And the government for which she stands
Has been scandalized throughout out the land.
And she's getting thread bare, and she's wearin' thin,
But she's in good shape, for the shape she's in.
Cause she's been through the fire before
and I believe she can take a whole lot more.

"So we raise her up every morning
And we bring her down slow every night,
We don't let her touch the ground,
And we fold her up right.
On second thought
I *do* like to brag
Cause I'm mighty proud of
That Ragged Old Flag"

When I chose tonight, to bring this flag and set an honor guard, it was not hap-hazard. 

This flag I mean to represent every man and woman who has taken the oath to give their life for mine, for yours, for our countries. They have stood with Pride in Rank and file. They have weathered the storms of war and public opinion. They have stood the lonely watch at night that we may sleep in peace. They have fallen to their knees in sorrow for the loss of friends and fellow soldiers, and for the loss of innocent lives. We who are Veterans have done this as many thousands like us and like all of those who came before us, And like them one day we will rest. 

I chose Sister Faith to guard this flag. It is by faith in God, faith in freedom, faith in our fellow man that we choose to stand upon a line and say to those who would take these treasures “you shall not pass.”

I chose Sister Hope to guard this flag. It is by Hope we hold a vision of a better tomorrow, it is the hope for our children, and the hope that our service may help our fellow man that we draw that line into the sand. 

I chose Sister Patriotism, she who, some in our country now seem to forget and at times even shun. Patriotism is that deep down pride in who we are, that demands we look unto our leaders and question them. It is this duty to our nation that we should embrace and hold unto our hearts that demands we do not sit by and let someone do for us. It is Patriotism that commands this Honor Guard though she cannot stand without the strength of Hope and Faith. It is to her we look to guard our future.

If you would all please rise (gavel)

Person appointed to receive the flag enters

Brother ________ if you would lead us in prayer for our veterans.

Patriotism hands over the flag

A Promise Made

A boy and his dad went down the street
To watch and to wave at the grand Parade.
The flags were unfurled the uniforms neat
There, all the colors and glories displayed

The boy asked his dad, “Why do they do that?
Why march all in lines and dress all the same?
And why do they count as they take every step
Why are they here ‘stead of watching the game?” 

The man looked at his son with a light in his eye,
Then looked up at the passing Parade
He said in a slow voice meant just for his boy
“’Cause it’s part of the promise they made”

The boy watched some more, the horses clomped by
He saw the caisson was draped with a flag
He saw “P O W” and then “M I A”
He caught his breath at the black and white flag

“Dad, did they know that could happen to them?
Did.., did they know that they might not come back?
Did they know this was the price they might pay?
Did they all know when they loaded their pack?

The man looked at his son with a light in his eye,
Then looked up at the passing Parade
He said in a slow voice meant just for his boy
“Yes, it was part of the promise they made”

The boy then was quiet lost in his thought
As the procession went by where they stood.
He asked “you have to leave again don’t you?”
Then his dad nodded and he understood

That night as his dad checked over his pack
He said “Please dad, I don’t want you to go”
his dad spoke so softly “I love you, Zack.
But our freedoms aren’t free don’t you know.

For you then I go to stand on a line.
Son, your future is not one I would trade
For you I’d give all, that you may live on
’Cause it is part of the promise I made”

Rebuilding

Many many years ago I fell apart, I hadn't paid much attention to how the pieces fit together so I was quite lost and confused looking at the assorted parts of myself.

I found a piece here that... sort of fit with this piece over there. I tried several different types of glue. sometimes Friendship made things stick but I wanted a better way to build. I thought I could find a faster way to raise a fortress.  Other times I needed space and time so I built a stoney keep as my retreat. I found that sometimes anger was the only thing that would make a piece fit back in, but the pounding often knocked other pieces back off. Some times grief and longing were the only way I could hold on to a few of those more precious pieces. Passion was hot enough to weld a few joints but it melted off a few pieces here and there as well. Pride was like a hardened frost by which I held some to me not willing to let go.

Eventually I built myself into a tower where I could see who was coming and defend myself at need. I congratulated myself on this great tower and surveyed what I had built.

As I looked around I started to realize not all the pieces around me were even mine.

I was sad to see that some of those that had been broken through my anger or scorched by my passions were not mine at all but rather pieces of others who had chanced to cross my path. I had no right to force them to my design nor to hurt them in my heat. The chill of my pride made those who wished to know me walk away,my grasping hold of things long past made me resent those who had not shared those moments with me. In my dark and very safe keep I was alone.

I had wasted my time and my tools. I had taken from myself everything I had before that broken time of growing up. I had yet a single tool and a simple choice at hand.

I started by choosing to use the tool and recognizing that it was a hammer. The gavel in hand I chose to rework the stone I had wrought in the error of my youth. As I learned to work and build anew. I found I needed other tools.

A rule to measure myself, this was hard to find but in the end I found a Master had one and he lent it to me. With my gavel and rule I set about my house and found that it was not in order.

The Master then showed me how to use a plumb. that I might see what was upright and what was crooked. Many of the pillars of my life had to be addressed, some torn down and built anew. The square he gave me and taught me how to try it every day that My building might be true. Last of all he showed me the level. and showed me that from east to west, from birth to death we all must keep upon our plane.

As I tore down what had not been plum or true an tried to start over the master set a trowel with in my hand.  He shook his head and kicked over my sorry dry stack cowans work, then showed me how the mortar sealed the wall and set the bond.

He set the compasses in the sand and circumscribed a point. He showed me how I learned to live. He showed me how to prove the square. he showed me all the arc of time where I should rise and I should fail.

The Master will teach when we are ready to learn. he will give us the tools to build a house that is a welcome home and not a defensive tower. The Master teaches us our limits and how to draw that line around ourselves that for faith

we will not cross.